Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
