If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Never joke about your clitoris.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
