Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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