if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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