I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
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