The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
You are a genius and a whore.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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