well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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