well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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