so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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