I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
