I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
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