Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
We need to rekindle our bromance
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
