What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
