almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
