my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
