Where is the hickey?
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize