did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize