Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
