Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
We are all done wearing pants today
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
