just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Everything about him screamed your future.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
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