I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
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