Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
