i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I need moral support for this bender
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Randomize