i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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