It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
