I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
