guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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