The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
