In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Did I show you my penis last night?
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
