My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
so let's talk penis.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
