So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Randomize
