I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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