He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
