office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
