Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
