WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
