so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
