So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
