How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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