my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
