Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
