i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
did i just pee glitter
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
