apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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