i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
