He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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