We're facebook friends in real life
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
