threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
