he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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