I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
