READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
