Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
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