Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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