i was rollin on her like bob the builder
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
