I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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