It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
then he tried to convert me to islam
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Bring me that man meat
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
