Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize