I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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