she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
