I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Randomize
