i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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