I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Randomize
