I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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