he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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