she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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